Mom gave me the most incredible gift before she passed away - time. Time to come to grips with losing her. Time to say goodbye. Time to tell her all the things I wanted her to know about me as a mom, as a wife, as a woman. Time to thank her for all she had done for me in my life. Time to reassure her that we would take care of Dad, take care of each other, and all get along. And, most importantly, time to get to know her. Not as my mom, but as a person - free from all those tensions found in the mother/daughter relationship, free from any reservation or judgment. Time to really get to know her. What a precious gift.
The weekend before Mom passed away, my sisters and I spent a few days and nights hanging out with Mom. We took care of her, started to get Dad ready for life on his own, cried, laughed and drank a hell of a lot of wine. Mom told us exactly how she wanted her memorial service to go, right down to the music and readings. We rifled through her jewelry box and she dolled out some goodies, each with specific instructions and specific meaning to the recipient. Mom was giving out her last gifts.
As we all sat on her bed, her jewelry spread around us, I asked Mom if I could have one thing. One thing that meant more to me than anything in that jewelry box - her shaker of cinnamon sugar. I thought she was going to fall out of the bed laughing so hard but that shaker always reminded me of Mom and her cinnamon toast. A simple treat she would make when we were under the weather, a quick breakfast when we were teens on the run, a little shake that made plain toast a delicacy. I believe the shaker actually predates my existence and Mom would always refill it once it ran empty. She claimed she couldn't find cinnamon sugar in the spice aisle and it was easier to have it on hand, particularly at the rate the six of us consumed cinnamon toast.
Now that shaker sits prominently on my stove and I've introduced my kids to the delights of cinnamon toast. I realize they don't need extra sugar in the morning, but a little shake of love from Mimi is the best way to start their day.
(I'm going to skip a recipe this time - cinnamon toast is pretty self-explanatory. Enjoy!)
Oh yes, cinnamon toast where the cinnamon has melted into the very liberally applied REAL butter...on white bread.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing whole grain about it.
ReplyDeleteThis was exactly what we would get when we were sick! My mom would bring it up to our room an we would get to eat it in bed. A real treat (and for some reason, only when we were sick). Same generation!
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