Looking Back

I am completely perplexed by this new trend of placing a magnet on the back of your car for every little thing your family does.  I now can tell by your tailgate where your kids go school, what sports they play, where you summer, where you ski in the winter, where you like to eat your burritos, what political party you belong to, what kind of dog you have, and whether you are a Yankee or Red Sox fan.  Funny, right?

When we were growing up, Mom drove a navy blue Olds Delta 88 station wagon.  She longed for nothing more than to plaster her rear window with those transparent college stickers.  She envisioned all six of us going off to schools far and wide, her rear window filled with numerous college names.  Unfortunately, that didn't happen.  The girls all went to Saint Mary's, Jed graduated from Fairfield and by the time it got around to Kevin, Mom had empty-nested and abandoned the battle-wagon for a cute convertible. (Note: there were no stickers on the back of her new ride).

I often wonder what Mom's car would look like if she lived in the world of oval magnets that adorn our SUVs and minivans.  Would she have a Jersey Girl magnet?  A shamrock?  A Carolina blue tarheel?  I Love Neil Diamond?  I got to thinking about this and I realized she would not have put any of these silly magnets on the back of her car.  She was proud of who she was, proud of her children, proud of her heritage.  But, she never felt it necessary to wear that as a badge or publicize it.  She just enjoyed who we were, what we accomplished and where we were in life.

Sometimes that bothered me.  There were times when I would have liked my mom to brag about what I had done, talked about it a little and let me know that she was proud.  It's not that she wasn't, it was just hard for her to be proud of one of us at a time.  She never wanted anyone to feel left out or less accomplished.

As a kid, this was tough.  As a mother, I get it.  You don't want any of your kids to feel that they are less important, or less accomplished, or less successful.  However, (and this is where Pete does a great job of keeping it all in check), as a parent you have to celebrate every success and teach your kids to celebrate along with you.  We always let our kids know what we think of their accomplishments, even when they falter.  And we are working very hard to teach our kids to be proud of each other and I hope that pays off in the end.  I have since taken all the magnets off the back of my SUV.  I have found other ways to let my kids know how proud we are of them and all that they do in this world.  I know Mom was proud, but I wish I had known that sooner.  If there was one white oval magnet Mom would have on the back of blue station wagon it would be "Proud Mom".