Daddy's Girl

I was digging through the "organization" station on my desk today, hunting feverishly for a birthday card as one of the kids was running out to a party.  I always buy a stack and leave them in there because I am very far from organized.  I pulled out this card and it made me stop in my tracks - it was a card I bought for Dad two years ago on Father's Day and I just completely forgot to give it to him.  Guess I tucked it away thinking I may need it next year.  Guess not . . .

The card was perfect and it summed up our relationship as only those jokers at Hallmark can do "Dad, your love and support have carried me over the years.  You've helped me to become the person I am today."  I am keeping this card.  I am keeping it because it is such a beautiful reminder of how much my dad impacted my life.

He called me Big J and I adored the times we spent together:  going on Indian Princess camping trips, swimming in the ocean early on a Friday evening after he had arrived in Bay Head from the city, chats we had on the car ride home from high school sports practices.  I wanted to go to Notre Dame and be a lawyer, just like my father.  Life had a different path for me and Dad was always there along the way, counseling, supporting, loving.

Losing Dad, while painful and sad, is very different than losing Mom.  In some ways, Dad's death has helped me close the chapter on losing Mom.  Sounds weird, I know, but I have this erie calm about it all.  Dad and Mom really were one in the same even though they impacted my life in very distinct ways.  They were the love story of all love stories and he was lost without her.  He tried, he tried really hard, but his place was with his dear Mimi and no one could stop him.  It's not to say he didn't want to be with his children and grandkids, he just knew we were all in a good place and could move on without him.  He knew he had done his job well.  While we are all far from perfect, Dad taught us to be respectful, confident and loving adults.  He taught us how to raise our children to be the same and once he knew his work was done, he could go join Mom.  We'll slip up along the way, hit some bumps in the road, but we will always have the foundation of our Dad supporting us every step of the way.

Love you Dad . . .